This is a blog for everyone who's ever looked for rock-bottom, foundational, absolute-first-thing-you-should-know information about adult relationships and instead found yourself weeding through a bunch of articles and blogs about how you're bad at romantic relationships. I've been looking for just such a resource almost since I met my friend, who I will refer to as "AtoZ" throughout the blog posts. Because AtoZ has not consented to be discussed online, I will keep all personal details about AtoZ obscured, including gender. I will refer to AtoZ only by they/them pronouns.
AtoZ has zero knowledge of how to be in a relationship, and doesn't know what they don't know. I have it on good authority that AtoZ's last relationship dissolved because they didn't even have the toolset to recognize they were doing anything wrong, and their partner got fed up with trying to get it across. I have spent the last decade trying to teach them, but it's worse than pulling teeth. Teeth eventually move.
I'm interested in addressing all kinds of relationships between anyone mature enough to want to understand where other people are coming from. I've worked in the nonprofit field with people with developmental disabilities, and I have several family members who are autistic. I'll be trying to put things in terms adults with social deficits can understand.
I am not a therapist or a licensed professional. I'm basing my posts entirely on things I've learned by getting them wrong, or dealing with other people who know even less than I do. I did get a Bachelor's in Psychology once upon a time but that doesn't make me an expert. I'm just trying to start a conversation.
Content warning for language. Cussing serves a linguistic function and I will not deprive myself of any tools available to me to communicate my point. I don't curse extravagantly, but a pretty euphemism for sex just won't do when you're talking about fucking, will it?
As for me, I am a fat fortysomething nonbinary ace* with late-diagnosed ADHD. She/her pronouns are okay, but I prefer they/them, please.
I will be wicked surprised if anyone but me reads my posts, including AtoZ. No promises the posts will be out with any regularity, or that the order will make any sense.
*ace, in this context, means asexual. Please note, I am not sex repulsed. I've just never wanted to fuck anyone I've met, seen in a movie, TV show, or in any still images, heard their voice, or interacted with online. I assume people aren't interested in me. In the really rare case someone is, it gets awkward real quick.